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by Heidi Danos October 01, 2015

I used to spend an hour on my hair in the morning (it was the 80s - ratting hair was essential.) And never, NO NEVER would I wear the same outfit twice in a two-week period. My "clothes calendar" made sure of that. Let's just say, I was a little high maintenance.

Oh, how things have changed. Ratting is now the practice of... well... getting rid of rats (not that we have any.) Outfits? Hell, I wear uniforms now - Target boyfriend t-shirts and jeans. I've got two kids, a husband, and a dog. Nothing fancy schmancy required. That's not to say that a single pair of pink lace undies won't make an occasional appearance because... well, you know.

My house used to be plum full of cleaning products, hair care tubes, balms, sprays, dusters, polishers - YIKES!! I have since pared down my collection to a few essential items. Dirty Knees's all-in-one lotions are a staple. 

Here are 5 of my personal lotion hacks:

    Humidity and a bad night's sleep can reek havoc on one's mane. Put a little dab of lotion in your hands and run through your hair. Problem solved.

    Imagine you're heading out for a night on the town when you notice that your iconic sexy footwear looks drab and lifeless. Slather on a little lotion to brighten them up!

    You (I say "you" but really, I'm secretly - or not so secretly anymore - referring to myself) are headed out the door to teach your Zumba class when - GOOD GRAVY! You forgot to shave. I'd never recommend "dry" shaving on a daily basis, but in a pinch, lotion makes a great makeshift shaving cream.

    Rub a light layer of lotion on your hands then rub up and down on your tights or pantyhose to keep your skirt from clinging to you like a 2-year-old. For a little added excitement, have your date do it for you!

    Last but not least, lotion works as a great lubricant for all those sticky situations, like getting a tight ring off a finger, temporarily lubricating a door hinge, or... um... 

    While the above hacks are tried, true, and tested by yours truly, give yourself a good crack on the head with the lotion bottle for reading and succumbing to yet another hack attack. 

Now, go ditch your hair balm, shoe polish, shaving cream, anti-static spray, WD-40, and personal lubricant. Reclaim that space!!

Heidi Danos
Heidi Danos


Owner, Dirty Knees Soap Co.

1 Response

Mary Kemen
Mary Kemen

January 13, 2016

VERY funny! Love your sense of humor. Your products were recommended by my son, a colleague of your husband’s. So here’s to diving in! I am placing my order forthwith.

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