It didn't take much. A snif, a little lather... then WHAM BAM! My husband and partner in crime, Pete, was hooked. Hooked on wood. Minnesota Wood. Immediately after his first enlightening and mind-expanding shower I was instructed to "never stop making that s*@$&."

He promptly retrieved his warehouse-sized stash of green soap bars (otherwise known as "detergent bars" per the FDA - YUCK!) and threw them in the back of the closet. But, don't fret. We are all about recycling and upcycling here at Dirty Knees.

Here are a few uses for those "other" soap bars. 

• Door jam. Simply open any swinging door to your desired angle of openness and gently place the soap bar on the floor directly in front of the open door to prevent it from closing.
  
  
• Paper weight. Stack papers into a neat little pile. Cardboard, construction paper, copy paper, watercolor... it'll work on just about anything. Place the soap bar gently on top of the pile, preferably near the center.
  
  
• Weapon. Dang... you're in a bind. There's a burglar at the door and you left your baseball bat in the kitchen pantry. Why there? I'm not quite sure, but nonetheless, that's where you left it. What to do... what to do... quickly grab your warehouse-sized bundle of "other" soap bars that you store under your bed. How they ended up under the bed... nevermind. Anywho... as I was saying... quickly unwrap your "other" soap bars quietly so as not to alarm the burglar. Quickly pass them out to everyone in your vicinity that hasn't already locked themselves in the bathroom to call 911 on their cell phone. Proceed to chuck the "other" bars fast and hard at the burglar. This should stun your intruder long enough for him to, if nothing else, wonder what the hell is wrong with you. At this point, the police should be nearing your doorstep thanks to the phone call from the pansies in the bathroom.

Deter future intrusions! Place a bar of Dirty Knees soap on your front doorstep. This will signal to potential burglars that you may be in possession of "other" soap, and that you aren't afraid to use it.