VERSION #1

Brad was handsome. He had a job. His job kept him quite busy. This prevented Brad from meeting his ultimate mate. One day, Brad was at his favorite cafe. He looked up from his iPad and there, across the street, was a pretty maiden with long, chestnut locks. They stared longingly into each others eyes. They smiled. They took a selfie. They adopted a puppy. The rest is history. Brad was happy.

VERSION #2

Brad was a member of 12 online dating sites. He worked as a contractor with a number of high-profile technology companies (he wouldn't go into details as his work is apparently classified.) Brad went on several dates. They always turned out like this:

Brad wasn't cool. He wasn't hip. Quite frankly, he stunk! Brad hadn't showered in days. He had run out of soap. He was more interested in finding a mate then making a trip to the store. Brad was convinced that shopping was for sissies. 

The moral of the story...